Communicating Effectively
Effective communication includes Listening skills, Communication skills, and Conversation skills.
Cardinal Mistakes In Conversation
1. Not listening attentively to the other person. Doing other things while someone is trying to tell you something is a form of insult and rejection. If you’re too busy to talk at the moment, ask your partner to wait until another time or give you a minute to wrap up what you are doing. Then give him your full attention by doing the following:
Look directly at the person while he is talking
Show a deep interest in what he is saying.
Ask questions if necessary
Don’t interrupt.
2. Interrupting Others. This is named the number one reason for unpopularity and causing upset in the person you are talking to. To break this habit:
Learn to listen with everything you’ve got.
Teach your ego to hold its breath
Practice patience
Be concerned about what the person is saying to you
3. Criticizing the other person in public or private. Part of the Marriage Commitment is to say only good things about the person whether in their presence or not. Words are power and create in the real world. The more often you complain to your friends or to yourself about your partner’s faults, the more you talk yourself into believing it. You can sell yourself a bill of goods that your partner makes you so crazy that you loose you sense of commitment to the relationship.
4. Using sarcasm and ridicule instead of stating what’s really on your mind. It has been proven that praise accomplishes changes in behavior much more effectively than does criticism, teasing, or ridicule. Change your statements to positive ones and your partner will feel the following sense of fulfillment:
Recognition of his efforts
Reassurance of personal worth
Approval and acceptance
A sense of roots, belonging somewhere
Accomplishing something worthwhile
A sense of self esteem, dignity, and self-respect
The desire to do even better and improve
Emotional security
From this personality profile, your partner cannot fail to give you the same positive feedback and support fostering in you the same sense of accomplishment and pride.
5. Talking down to someone. Avoid the use of comparisons, big and
pompous words unless that is your normal pattern of speech, being
patronizing, particularly in a manner which indicates that you have
sexual bias toward the opposite gender.
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