What Is Marriage About

Marriage is more about the couple than the individuals while continually expanding the heart and soul of each person as they unite and are blessed by the grace of the Holy Spirit that forms the Third person of their union.

Life is about becoming all you were meant to be and marriage is the catalyst. Marriage is the sole state of existence that has the potential to make us more of our Authentic Selves, and less of the worldly self we may believe ourselves to be when entering into this most holy estate.

With marriage must come the art of compromise… each partner willingly giving a little so there is a meeting of the minds that provides a comfortable environment for both people not only to live in, but to thrive in with mutual respect and appreciation for the differences that add color and texture to your new life together.

The changes required of each partner are not so much a surrendering of oneself… as the giving to the beloved a supportive respite from life’s challenges …a calm space where they can restore their self confidence and embrace the courage to move forward.

For, rather than giving up one’s identity, as so many fear will happen in a committed relationship, there is an encouragement, faith, and belief in the beloved that moves them toward actualization of their potential which is sometimes inaccessible to those traveling life singly.

Now is the time to set aside erratic behaviors without regard to consequences, and designated roles without honoring the self. Any personality traits that are less than functional, that you have not attended to, will come up to be handled in marriage.

Marriage is the avenue through which people learn to accept personal responsibility for their beliefs, thoughts, words, and deeds so that they may live harmoniously out of their own integrity.

Home must be the place where judgment and criticism do not exist, where there is no past, only the present, where partners are accepted exactly as they are…. and feel safe to advance mentally, spiritually, and emotionally into a future of infinite possibilities because someone does hold the higher vision for them.

The essence of love is compassion, kindness, empathy and understanding and the practice of being a loving person is not only your life’s work… but the work of being in an ongoing relationship with another soul.

Being your partner’s best friend means both parties have equal rights to their feelings, their boundaries, and indeed their own issues.

Husband and wife are considered peers with no one being dominant over the other. There is no co-dependence is a true partnership of two equals.

The job of each is to support, not condemn, their mate while they resolve any personal issues that are sabotaging their life and the life of the marriage itself. Remembering always that your relationship is more important than any issue that may arise between you, your willingness to make necessary changes towards peaceful reconciliations, and the grace to do so… continues to grow as your bond matures.

Love is not the coming together of two less than whole people who marry someone who completes them or compensates for their lack. But rather, the joining together of two integrated souls who can stand alone… but choose to combine their gifts to enhance a sacred commitment to love that is larger than either of them alone.

You have already glimpsed into the larger meaning of the influence of your marriage for the world, and so the work is already done in consciousness.

I ask you to remember that you are not your personality, your past, your choices, or your assets.

You are a whole complete child of God made in His Image, unspeakably worthy, unlimited creator, infinitely wise. As His Reflection, you are constantly aligning yourself with your divine essence, love.

It is as much your Father acting in, as, and through you…that has entered into this union, as it is your worldly personas so you can now stop judging one another on appearances, and be reminded that it is your souls that sought each other, and your souls that love this other aspect of themselves that feels so much like home.

You may not always please each other… but you will always love each other. Over time you will learn what makes the other happy and sustains them in life, and what is best left unsaid. And while you are adjusting to each other’s idiosyncrasies and this new partnered life style, you can’t be devastated if you think you have let your loved one down, or you suddenly discover there are imperfections in them that you think let you down. Each of us is always doing the best they can in the moment with the information they have and the programming that is outpicturing.

A more beneficial attitude is that things are in divine right order and there is a reason for everything, if only to bring up parts of self to heal and transform. Seen as the seeds of personal honesty, growth, and the developing bond of closeness born of attachment, trust and affection, one does manage to maintain their equilibrium during this early period of acclimation to a mutually shared existence.

Marriage is a house you build day by day, brick by brick, recommitting moment by moment, as together you create the rules and guidelines that will sustain the fragile entity of holy matrimony.

You must stay present in the moment, be intentional about your desire to honor the beloved just as they are, take joy in their happiness, and have true open-hearted empathy for where they are on their path.

Two entirely separate and uniquely beautiful souls have united now… so now is the time to stop living entirely for yourself, and start living… for “us”… and as “we” as God who brought you together, blesses your marriage.